I've been popping cough drops like as if they were candy and drinking down NyQuil like as if it was chocolate milk...in an odd kind of way I feel both good and bad at the same time. I have the heat blasting on me and I'm wrapped up from head to toe...I feel like a Egyptian mummy on a Florida beach wearing a fur coat in the middle of summer.
Speaking of mummies...my mommy isn't here to take care of me and to listen to me whine, so I figured I would do the next best thing and whine about it on the internet...with the hopes that some female out there in cyberspace would hear my cries and would be willing to virtually coddle me...I feel so bad right now I don't even care if it's some big fat greasy dude pretending to be a female, as long as the end result is me getting some of that sweet motherly love I'm all good.
I have so much crap coming out of me that if I kept it all I could reconstruct Slimer from Ghostbusters...by the way, it may just be the cough syrup talking, but am I really the only one who thinks that the word slimer sounds kind of perverted. Anyway, my head feels like someone smacked me in the face with a loaf of stale Italian bread...over and over again.
Considering how bad I'm feeling, I knew I couldn't let all my internet friends down, so I got myself out of bed just to write this quick note telling you all that I felt like poop...and if you truly loved me you would send me buckets of hot chicken soup, cases of crackers and a sexy nurse to take care of me...just saying.
It's no fun being sick, I know everybody says that, and is aware of that, but I'm special (at least that's what my mommy tells me) and deserve to be able to say it without people looking at me all cross...show me some love.
Okay all you party people out there...I'm about to get back into bed...of course right after finishing off the rest of my purple drank...so I can get my Zs on. You guys/gals have fun and stay out of trouble...until next time my friends.