I know I’m out of shape, well actually I’m in shape…in a round shape that is.
I love to eat, which I’m sure anyone who sees me can tell by
the t-shirt riding up on my belly exposing my muffin top.
This it’s just a given with
fat people and t-shirts, they’re going to ride up on you, kind of like a plumbers pants
falling off his ass, it’s some kind of universal dress code.
I’m big, I need to lose weight,but I’m not “have to be moved
by a forklift” big, not just yet anyways.
I can still walk by myself, I don’t
need one of those electric scooter thingies, but if I did mine would be pimped
When your elbows and knees become dimples you know you have a
problem, thankfully I’m not there yet but if I keep going the way I’m going I
soon could be.
It’s not that I’m oblivious to this and/or pretend I’m “beautiful
the way I am” like so many other fat people do, but sometimes I forget it.
to get a little complacent (or lazy) about how I look and what I need to do to
rectify the situation. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m in denial, I’m just stupid.
I don’t have a gene problem either, well that’s not entirely
true because I do have a jean problem in a sense, I can’t fit into them that’s the problem.
have an eating disorder though, it’s called fork to mouth, I can’t stop eating and
that’s the disorder.
If I could just put the stupid fork down I would be
I recently had an experience that made me realize it was
time to get back in shape, time to lose all the extra weight I have been
carrying around with me, get rid of my spare (monster truck) tire.
Some friends were in town and wanted to ride the go karts. I
tried to explain to them that when I got they would just be karts, they
wouldn’t be going anywhere.
Things went ahead as planned, at least for them, they
were all racing around the track in go karts having a blast and I was sitting
off to the side watching all the fun because I couldn’t comfortably fit into
Now I'm sure I could have wedged myself in the seat if I tried hard enough, made myself look
like about ten pounds of garbage in a five pound bag.
I also would have to be greased just to get out, but I decided against it to save myself
some embarrassment…and to save the wheels on the kart from popping off like the
buttons on my pants.
I’m not feeling sorry for myself and I’m not trying to blame
someone or something else for my weight issues.
No one put a gun to my head and
told me to eat all the junk I’ve been eating, and to be honest if there was a
gun involved, and if it happened to be dipped in chocolate and deep fried I
would have probably eaten that too.
I tell you who I do feel sorry for though, and that is my
pallbearers because they are going to have their hands full (literally) with me if I don’t
lose this weight.
I must let you go now so I can get off the computer and go
do some exercise before it’s too late, for me and for anyone around me if I
happen to fall down.