Wednesday, March 20, 2013

“I’m Fat…and I’m Not Proud”

I know I’m out of shape, well actually I’m in shape…in a round shape that is. 

I love to eat, which I’m sure anyone who sees me can tell by the t-shirt riding up on my belly exposing my muffin top. 

This it’s just a given with fat people and t-shirts, they’re going to ride up on you, kind of like a plumbers pants falling off his ass, it’s some kind of universal dress code.

I’m big, I need to lose weight,but I’m not “have to be moved by a forklift” big, not just yet anyways. 

I can still walk by myself, I don’t need one of those electric scooter thingies, but if I did mine would be pimped out…just saying. 

When your elbows and knees become dimples you know you have a problem, thankfully I’m not there yet but if I keep going the way I’m going I soon could be.

It’s not that I’m oblivious to this and/or pretend I’m “beautiful the way I am” like so many other fat people do, but sometimes I forget it. 

I tend to get a little complacent (or lazy) about how I look and what I need to do to rectify the situation. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m in denial, I’m just stupid.

I don’t have a gene problem either, well that’s not entirely true because I do have a jean problem in a sense, I can’t fit into them that’s the problem. 

I do have an eating disorder though, it’s called fork to mouth, I can’t stop eating and that’s the disorder. 

If I could just put the stupid fork down I would be alright.

I recently had an experience that made me realize it was time to get back in shape, time to lose all the extra weight I have been carrying around with me, get rid of my spare (monster truck) tire.

Some friends were in town and wanted to ride the go karts. I tried to explain to them that when I got they would just be karts, they wouldn’t be going anywhere. 

Things went ahead as planned, at least for them, they were all racing around the track in go karts having a blast and I was sitting off to the side watching all the fun because I couldn’t comfortably fit into them.

Now I'm sure I could have wedged myself in the seat if I tried hard enough, made myself look like about ten pounds of garbage in a five pound bag. 

I also would have to be greased just to get out, but I decided against it to save myself some embarrassment…and to save the wheels on the kart from popping off like the buttons on my pants.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself and I’m not trying to blame someone or something else for my weight issues. 

No one put a gun to my head and told me to eat all the junk I’ve been eating, and to be honest if there was a gun involved, and if it happened to be dipped in chocolate and deep fried I would have probably eaten that too. 

I tell you who I do feel sorry for though, and that is my pallbearers because they are going to have their hands full (literally) with me if I don’t lose this weight.

I must let you go now so I can get off the computer and go do some exercise before it’s too late, for me and for anyone around me if I happen to fall down.



  1. Michael, what a great post! I have to tell you that your writing style is very entertaining and made me smile. I love your sense of humor. I also admire you opening yourself up here on your blog. I wish you all the best in achieving your healthy goals!:)

    1. Thank you very much for the kind words and positive feedback, I really appreciate it.

      I truly enjoy helping people smile...that's what it's all about...even if it is at my expense.

  2. LOVE THIS... if one more person tells me i will feel better if i lose some weight i think i might stab them! I KNOW! i am 5'6" 260 lbs. It could be a lot worse. and i absolutley will feel better if i shed pounds. i also have physical and mental conditions that make dieting a huge NO NO and meds that make me gain weight. even my doctors just say "good luck with that". so to all those commeters SHUT UP!
    Thanks for the chance to vent. it is so easy to forget about being fat. i do it all the time. until i see a photo. or try to sit in an airplane seat....
    hope you make healthy choices. that is the best thing to do. :)

    1. I totally feel your pain my dear...go ahead and vent...let it all'll feel better.

  3. All you can do is love yourself and be happy with the person you are. It appears as if that's exactly where you are. I know a lot of skinny people who are ugly on the inside. That's clearly not you.

    The fact that you are aware you need to change your situation is a great first step. And that step will lead to a second, and a third. I'm in no way on the skinny side, but I struggle with weight, and have done so my entire adult life. It's a struggle and those that don't have those eating issues don't understand it's a constant struggle.

    I truly believe it's an addiction and I wish more people thought that way. Whenever I watch a show like Intervention that has drug addicts who can't beat the habit, I always think "Why can't you just stop doing heroin?" and then I remind myself "Why can't you just stop eating cookies?" It's a bigger deal than just putting the fork down. It's bigger than you (no pun intended, of course).

    The worst part about the food addiction is you can't give it up. Not that heroin is something easy to give up (I don't know, but I can only assume), but if you stop using heroin, you stop. You never do it again. With food, you have to continue to eat every day. That's the hard part....that you have to expose yourself continually to your own vice every day of your life. That's what people don't get.

    I just found you through Bloppy and I must say you are a true gem and a kind and caring soul. You are beautiful and wonderful and that's all that maters! Thanks for being comfortable enough to share this. I know it takes guts (no pun intended. I seriously need to stop with this.)

    1. Thank you very much for the kind words and the positive feedback…I truly appreciate it.

      You are absolutely correct eating is an addiction…and trust me, I know this first hand. I know it’s not the food’s fault…it is or own…we need to be stronger than the food itself. Just like with the drug addicts you’ve mentioned, we need to overcome this addiction…granted we still need to eat to survive, but we could also make better choices, doing our best to avoid the garbage…and the pushers (i.e. fast-food restaurants, junk food commercials, etc.)

      Our society as a whole doesn’t help the situation either, just about anything we do for “a good time” involves food in one way or another. For the most part eating like it’s your last meal is social acceptable in this country, that’s why everything is “super-sized” and/or more over-the-top than the one before it (i.e. you have three slices of cheese…well we have five slices of cheese and bacon).

      It’s not easy but if we want to live a happy and healthy life we need to make it happen. Good luck with your food challenges too my friend…keep fighting the good fight and don’t give up.

  4. Us women have wonderful ways of disguising our irregular globule shapes. Moomoos or mumus....think Homer J. Simpson. He liberated himself through that darn moomoo/mumu.

    1. Us men have it easier, we can walk around all fat and nasty if we wanted to and still be socially acceptable. I'm and man, believe it or not, and I'm really ashamed by that fact.