Saturday, August 17, 2013

“Butt Kissing”

I have some serious butt kissing to do, why you ask, well because I haven’t been that good of an efriend to some of my fellow bloggers as of late.

Here my efriends RichLizzi and Menopausal Mother were showing me some love, spreading it around like as if it was peanut butter and I was the bread, but I left them hanging…hanging like a chad in the 2000 presidential election. I’ve been tagged and given a “golden sideboob” blogging award and haven’t been able to repay the favor, I’m ashamed of myself.

It wasn’t my entire fault though; I was having internet problems…the problem was, it wasn’t on. The bastards wanted money and I didn’t have it, it was either surf the web or eat, and needless to say I chose to feed my belly.

Sure I could have just browsed the web for pictures of food and fantasied about eating it (which by the way would have cut into my porn time), but we all know that wouldn’t have done the trick, at least not for too long. It would be like mental MSG, sure it would satisfy more for about an hour or so, but shortly after I would be hungry again.

Thankfully I am now back in business, the bloodsuckers have been paid and I am able to surf the web like as if I was Spider-man.

So now for the butt kissing…

First up is my good efriend Mr. Rich Rumple, who is the baddest man since Shaft…okay he would be the reverse negative version of Shaft, but nevertheless he is still a bad man. I dream of one day writing as good as this man, and if I can’t I just steal his material and pass it off as my own…that’s the American way.

Next up is my off-the-chain efriend Lizzi, this chick is crazy, and she is super funny and not afraid to voice her opinion no matter who she pisses off. She is an outside-the-box thinker who likes to share her insanities with the rest of the world.

Finally we have the smoking hot Menopausal Mother…and don’t let the name fool you, she makes Kim Kardashian look like a train wreck. Reading her stuff is funnier than watching someone crash into a sliding glass door that they thought was open.

These three are hilarious, with wit a sharp as a Ginsu and balls as big as watermelons…and no Lizzi and Menopausal Mother are not hermaphrodites, they are just not afraid to speak their minds and tell it like it is.

Please check them out and show them some love, because if you don't they will never let me live it down.

Lizzi @ Considerings
Menopausal Mother @ Menopausal Mother


  1. MJM - I hear that Chapstick is sending you a new supply ... flavored this time! You are only too kind, my friend. I was wondering what took so long to display the award, and now that I know you chose food over the award. Life is filled with decisions, some good, some bad. Luigi and Tony are coming over to help you make them the right way in the future. I know they're both a little bigger than most people you deal with, but they're really nice, as long as you do as they ask. Btw, where is the side boob, anyway? Have those two call me when they get there. Just out of curiosity, I know things are a little tight right now, but is your hospital insurance paid up? Ooops, did I just hear something besides mouth lips pucker? Ciao! :)

    1. Rich I might as well skip the chapstick and go right to the super glue, that way my lips are permanently stuck to your ass, because that's what you deserve.

      My side boob is under my armpit, and it's kind of sweaty right now because it's kind of hot in here right now.

      Cool Luigi and Tony are coming over...I can't wait...I'll bake a cake.

  2. I love love love you, Michael! Your blog is da bomb and you are da bomb diggity! One of these days we WILL meet for that game of streaking......and there won't be any butt kissing necessary---unless you WANT to, of course!!! Smoochies to you, Sexy Beast!

    1. Girl you are the best, I one day hope to be just like you...of course minus the vagina. I can't wait to go streaking together...I know it would be awesome.

  3. You supposedly have 119 people in your G+ circle and not ONE PERSON CAME OVER FROM HERE! You suck.

    And you didn't show off the sideboob award, just alluded to it, which is SOOOOOOO crappy of you. After all the trouble I took!

    You can keep the butt kissing and just kiss my ass instead! I'm outta here.

    1. I am so, so sorry about everything. I promise it will never happen again...and if it does, you can beat my donkey.

      Do you forgive me...or do you still hate me?