Wednesday, February 19, 2014

“I Can’t Place the Face, but I would Recognize That Ass Anywhere”

I recently started working with a man doing home repairs; and the job requires us to drive to a bunch of different locations on a weekly basis, so needless to say we are on the road a lot, and we see a lot of different people.

Today while we were driving down the road we come across a woman walking; she was traveling in the same direction as we were driving so all we could see was her backside, the junk in her trunk if you will.

My boss, while steadily staring at her ass and panting like a thirsty dog, blurted out that he would know that ass anywhere.

Intrigued by his comment, and wanting to know more about this hottie, I asked him what the rest of the package looked like, you know the headlights and such.

He replied back, “I have no frigging idea, I only know her by that must be jelly because jam don’t shake like that rump roast, and I have never actually seen her from the front”.

His response (even if odd) got me thinking, could someone really know an “ass” anywhere, even if it was one of the hottest derrieres they have ever seen, it has to be hard to tell a person by the ass they were carrying alone?

I was wondering if he ever met her out would he be like I think I know you but I can’t place the face, could you do me a favor and turn around, bend over and touch your toes, and once he saw that hiney he would be like, “oh yeah you’re so and so from such and such, I may forget a face but I never forget an ass”.

I suggested to him that since he was such a coinsure of the booty, that at the next social gathering he attended he should have people wear their nametags on their buttocks instead of their chests, that way he would be able to put a name with that ass.

And what if he was blind, could he read ass like as if it was braille, or too avoid getting slapped in the kisser, would he just have to rely on that special aroma the ass emits.

What if he was in one room and an ass was clapping in another room, could he hear it like a mother can hear their baby crying when they are in different rooms?

I just had so many questions; I was really amazed that this man could tell who someone was just by their bum bum, he must have seen more butts than an ashtray during his time on this planet to acquire this incredible skill, if he was a superhero his name would be “Captain Proctologist”.

MJM

10 comments:

  1. I think your friend should BE a proctologist since he seems to have a talent for identifying butts…..but would he recognize an a-hole if he met one? BAHAHAHA!!!!

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    1. A-holes I don't know, but booties, yes for sure.

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  2. Ah, you can't beat a wobbly arse - well you can actually, but you know what I mean. I must now go to tend to myself!

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    1. We love big butts and we can not lie my friend.

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  3. Dammit. . . now I must go work on my ass. I don't want anyone identifying me by the wobbly booty . . . gotta get back in shape. Then have at it.

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    Replies
    1. C'mon girl stop being hard on yourself, you know you got it going on like the funky cold medina.

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    2. Great . . . now that song is in my head. Gotta get it out with something else, like the original rump shaker . . .LOL!

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    3. Nothing wrong with that, it's a great song, with such a powerful message.

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  4. I'm sorry, are there any words in this post? All I keep looking at are the ass pictures!

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