Tuesday, February 16, 2016

“Stop, Drop and Hop or Come in and Stay a While?”

There are two kinds of people when it comes to using the crapper, and I’m not talking about the public one here, because hopefully no one uses those cesspools unless absolutely necessary. I’m talking about your own personal porcelain potty.

You have the individuals who are in and out with a quickness like Superman in a phone booth at the first sign of trouble, then you have those who set up shop and make it a home away from home within a home. I myself am the latter, and damn proud of it.

Now some may scratch their heads in confusion and ask why one would purposely stay firmly planted on the pot while being surrounded by their own stank, unless of course they were having tummy troubles and/or a professional masturbator. Well my reason is simple; I prefer to deal with the shit that’s inside the door instead of the shit that’s on the other side of the door. By that I don’t mean that I have a poorly trained pet that leaves turd nuggets all over my house like landmines, but rather people who are so annoying they could make Jesus (and I don’t mean the gardener) ask for a do-over on that whole dying on the cross for our sins thingy.

You want to be a super pooper like me? Well listen closely because I’m about to tell you how it’s done.

There are secrets to surviving the dreaded gas chamber. Certain things one could do to make the overall experience really not all that bad, believe it or not, actually rather pleasant. Some of these steps may take time to master, but trust me in the end it’ll be completely worth it and you’ll be a much happier person in the long run as a result of it.

Here’s the first step, and this may not be all that easy for those of you with pancake asses, but for the the rest of you who are fortunate enough to have junk in your trunk this’ll be no problem whatsoever. Plug the hole! Don’t get it twisted; the hole I’m talking about plugging here is not the one to your backdoor, but the one to the seat of the bowl you’re doing your business on.

This may require some wobbling as if you were a Weeble and/or possibly even some tushy touching, so make sure to keep some Purell readily available just in case. Wedge those buns in there tightly, like you were stuffing a Thanksgiving turkey. That septic stream should see nothing more than the dark side of your moon.

Why do this you may ask? The answer is simple; it’s to avoid any raunchiness from escaping the bowl. That way regardless of how long you plan on visiting, you can do so without aggravating your nostrils and/or taste buds if you happen to be one of those extremely ripe bitches where your aroma is so thick you could taste is.

As a backup, hanging a car air freshener from the doorknob will definitely help in the case of a ventilation emergency. Sure it won’t mask the whole smell, but a mixture of pine trees or new car and crap is still better than just plain old crap, just saying.

Step number two, which coincidentally involves taking a number two, funny how that worked out.

Don’t be too quick to flush your friend. The reason being of course is because most people associate the flush with the last step in the pooping process, and if you’re not out the door shortly after they come banging like they were the police. Let your new buddy hang around for a bit. Let him enjoy his freedom from the bowels before being washed away to his eternal resting place.

Nothing makes others feel the need to use the bathroom more then the sound of that door closing. I believe it’s a mental thing, that or a pain in the ass thing, and I’m not taking about hemorrhoids. They’re as fine as can be without a care in the world, completely void of any bladder and/or anus waste, at least until they notice the threshold to the toilet blocked off.

That’s why saving the flush for the final act, and not a second before, is imperative and not to be passed over. Doing so will help you avoid any unnecessary headaches while you’re trying to relax.    

The last step, which is just as important as the previous two and should not to be taken lightly, is to bring a lunch or at least a snack in with you. You’re going to be away from the outside world for quite some time, and you wouldn’t want to pass out from hunger and end up face down, ass up on the bathroom floor. Been there, done that, and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

I would also highly recommend carrying prepackage noms here, because you wouldn’t want poop particles on your food, ummm grodie to say the least.

Aside from edibles, bring in things to keep you occupied while you’re lavatory lounging. Here are some suggestions. Maybe take up needlepoint, start playing a portable gaming system and/or if you’re so inclined, bring in that car engine that you’ve been rebuilding.

There’s nothing like reading a good book on the toilet, and if you’re a writer, all you need is a pen because any adequately stocked bathroom is going to have plenty of paper. What about arts and crafts, if that’s your thing feel free to get down with some finger painting, just please wash your hands when you’re done.

For the record, on cold days there is absolutely nothing wrong with brining a blanket or space heater in with you, if anything you’d be wise to let the heater run for a bit before doing your duty (huh huh) to avoid cold seat shock.

Let me put it this way, you’ll be hard-pressed to find something of mine that doesn’t have more fecal matter on it than Kanye West's teeth, but I don’t sweat it at all because there’s always soap.

Remember with great power comes great responsibility, so use these skills I taught you wisely and don’t abuse them. For example if you’re a beginner, or a young sprout with tiny little poops, then I would suggest playing it safe and not risking it. Be like SEAL Team Six, get in and out before anyone knows you’re there, making sure to bury your own stinky little brown turd (aka Bin Laden) at sea in the process, otherwise the operation would be considered an epic fail.

Here’s what I had to deal with, and ultimately why I say what I do.

Growing up we had many visitors who felt compelled to use their toilet time to smoke a cigarette, drink a cup of coffee and drop a deuce, so you could only imagine the funk that they left behind.

With that said, back then I was a hit it and quit it kind of fella when it came to using the facilities. I wasn’t about to let myself ferment in that toxic concoction of shit, smoke and coffee.

As time progressed, circumstances changed and I was better able to manage the shitter to shitee relationships, which allowed me slow down and enjoy my time in the inside outhouse. Give it time, you’ll get there too.

There you have it, the “How to” survival guide to making the best of a shitty situation and getting the most out of your bathroom time. They don’t call it the “rest”room for nothing.


Wednesday, February 10, 2016

“When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Go Crying?”

I'm sick and tired of hearing all this crap from Cam Newton! He’s trying to justify his actions in regards to how he handled things during the post-game press conference for Superbowl 50. We won’t even touch on how he was acting on the field during the big game, that’s for another time.

Showed up to interview with a chip on his shoulder and acted very unprofessional. Wouldn’t answer questions and left shortly after arriving, without even so much as a whisper as to why. After watching him storm off like a toddler who just got told he couldn’t have any ice cream, it was pretty evident as to why he did what he did.

He is an idiot, plain and simple. Obviously no one likes to lose, but trying to blame his behavior on the fact that he did just that is completely ridiculous and utterly insane. We are not talking about kids on the playground here; we are talking about pro athletes who do this for a living. 

He acts as if he is only representing himself, but clearly he is not. He represents the Carolina Panthers organization and the National Football League (NFL) and gets paid extremely well to do so. Giving interviews, whether after a loss or a win, is all part of the job, don't believe me just ask Marshawn Lynch of Seattle Seahawks fame.

Now if he, and many more I suspect, would rather not give interviews then they should take a sizable pay cut and not be eligible for the captain position of their respective teams. With any job you need to earn your money and title, it’s not just handed to you because you perform one aspect of your overall responsibilities at a higher level than most. This is the case with the majority of jobs out there, and football should be no different.

He needs to grow up and act like a professional and a positive role model to all those kids who look up to him. It takes more than giving a kid the ball when you score a touchdown to make you something to write home about. I’m not trying to discount the gesture, but in all reality that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Considering that Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall building in a single bound, I’m sure he can survive a loss. Trust me, the Panthers will have another shot at the big game in the years to come, there’s no doubt about that. Now with that said, it’s time to be a man and stop acting like an overgrown spoiled child.

My feelings have nothing to do with the team he plays for and/or my undying allegiance to any other team, so fanboys please stand down. I believe for the money these players are paid, they should be more than happy to do what is asked of them, especially when it comes to the fans, which is absolutely who these interviews are for. I know it was the Superbowl, but there’s still no excuse for how things unfolded on his behalf.

Cam Newton…the man, the myth, the crybaby? Only time will tell.

Also, this is not a black and white thing; this is a wrong and right thing. People would still feel the same way they do towards Newton’s actions even if he happened to be white. So please stop with all that nonsense.


Sunday, September 6, 2015

“Jesus Christ Socialist”

Hello all you party people out there in cyberspace, I have great news for you; today you get a break from me and all my inane ramblings. First off, thank you for visiting The Insane Asylum, now sit back, get comfortable and please welcome my very special guest Mr. Kevin Hightower to our ward. He’s not looking to just rock the boat here, he’s planning on capsizing that some beach! When he’s through, the Titanic will look like child’s play.

Kevin Hightower
Writer/Journalist from Houston age 37

Let me start you off with what the "Religious Right Wing" in America would have you believe is an oxymoron. I am a Christian and I don't believe it is a sin to be gay or to hand out a gay marriage license. I know for a fact that for some people who identify as gay didn't choose to be gay. I know that God is love incarnate and that he doesn't punish his creation for being his creation. Cover your ears because this is going to ruffle some feathers. God created gay people.

And you can quote things from Leviticus and Deuteronomy to me all day but it's going to fall on deaf ears because I consider myself a "Red Letter Christian." It's not a denomination and we have no brick-and-mortar churches that I am aware of. It means that I have a Bible with all of Jesus' words highlighted in red. Before I ever read the Bible in its entirety I had to simplify things for myself and I decided the way to demystify what this religion was all about was to study the words and deeds of the man it is named for.

When I focused in on nothing but the words of Jesus Christ I made a stunning realization. The Jesus on TV and in too many churches is not anything like the guy I read about in the Bible. The real oxymoron here is "Religious Right Wing." Why? Because Jesus was a liberal and a socialist.

I think there's two different views of Christianity at play here. The one that gets all the media attention is more often than not contrary to the deeds and action of Jesus Himself.

When I was eight-years-old my dad told me my mother was going to burn in hell because she was raised Catholic. He described in graphic detail the pain of being burned alive forever and ever. I was pretty perceptive for my age and by that point my dad gave me the creeps already. But he made me promise not to tell or I'd be in huge trouble so I held it inside for almost a year until I became a pale shadow of a once-happy child. I barely slept that year because the night brought dreams of my mother, the one I trusted and has always believed in me, and stood by me, screaming in flames.

No eight-year-old should ever have to bear that burden and if I had a time machine I'd take it straight back to that little boy and grab him, hug him and tell him it's not true. This was my dad's way of being Christian. Jesus said to love one another. There's no verse about scarring your child for life.

What it did do was lead me astray later in life because I wanted no part of a God that would send the most patient and kind woman I've ever met to a pit of fire. Jesus did say woe to anyone who leads one of these little children away from me and that it would be better for my dad to have a millstone hung around his neck and thrown into the sea than to turn a child away from Jesus.

Finally, the lack of sleep and nervousness became so noticeable that my mom, aunt and uncle literally wondered if I was being abused.  And I was mentally being abused. I broke and finally told them. They reassured me no such thing would happen. My uncle had a private talk with my dad and I didn't hear all of it but I know it involved him not living to tell about ever trying something like that again. My uncle was ready to be Jesus' millstone.

So when I grew older I despised the religion. Then during a troubled time I set about reading the entire Bible cover to cover looking for answers and have done so twice. I learned that all that time I spent reading the Old Testament was summed up in a sentence or two by Jesus. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. This is the whole of the law and the prophets (The Old Testament). In other words if you just do those things, because of Jesus’ sacrifice you have fulfilled God’s law.

To my great surprise focusing in on just the words Jesus said revealed that He was nothing like the Jesus paraded around by "Fundamentalists" and "Conservatives." As a matter of fact I found that He was quite the Liberal in His day, with the Pharisees and Sadducees being the Conservative establishment. He had liberal ideas like giving to the poor and not concerning yourself with whether or not they waste the money (welfare, food stamps). He healed the sick freely without asking anything in return (universal healthcare). He was not a Capitalist at all; He believed in the redistribution of wealth and commanded His followers to give all their possessions to the poor and follow Him.

When asked if His people should pay taxes to Rome he told them to give Caesar what is due to Caesar and give God what is due to God. Yet today the Republicans and the Tea Party claim to be the Christian Party while insisting we shouldn’t be taxed, it’s ok for 1% of the population to have 99% of the money because they worked harder than you, healthcare shouldn’t be free and you have no right to it and welfare programs for the poor who really need it, especially children must be abolished because of the few who take advantage.

Don’t take my word for it. Go read the Republican platform, the Tea Party Platform and then the red words in the Bible and tell me I’m wrong.

And now this court clerk Kim Davis thinks that she will go to Hell for handing out a marriage license to gay people. Even if you insist on believing that homosexuality is a sin, as a Christian you should be well aware that if Heaven and Hell were based on our deeds we'd all be in trouble. To say that you can go to Hell for acting any certain way is to deny Jesus' sacrifice altogether.

If she found this morally objectionable she can say it was because of her religion, but she'd be wrong. If you go with the idea that it is sinful to be in a gay marriage then all you have to do to keep your morals in line is not be in a gay marriage yourself. The same freedom that afford people to believe and do what they feel is right morally, like people who want to be in a loving gay marriage, is the same freedom that allows her to practice her version of Christianity however misguided it might be.

And to those who think she can't be fired or punished, you absolutely can force someone within your employ to do something they find morally objectionable because they have the freedom to seek employment elsewhere.

I don't begin to think that I have the capacity as a human to fathom the mind of God but there is one thing I am pretty sure about. He is no different than us in the respect that He wants people to love Him because they want to, not because they are forced to, which is why we have free will. So I would think God would find it objectionable for a country to force its citizens to worship Him because they wouldn't be doing it out of love, but at the threat of jail.

Would you want someone to say they love you at gunpoint? Or would you prefer they love you because you are you? If God wanted to make mindless drones to say they loved Him he surely could have done so. God doesn't want a Christian nation, he wants religious freedom. He wants you to love Him because you want to, not because Kim Davis says you have to.

What people who practice her modern brand of Christianity mistake in Jesus' words is when He says to let your light shine among men. She would have you believe this means wagging your tongue and telling other people what to do to not be sinful. The people I have met that truly let their light shine and touched my life are the ones who did so in their own actions. Love God and Love one another as yourself. Love your enemy. A real Christian never has to tell you they are one; you can tell by the way they treat you.

That same crazy dad of mine is on his 10th marriage. I never felt comfortable around him for obvious reasons so visits were sparse as I became an adult. I began to notice that wife after wife were extremely rude and short with me and I never understood why. That is until wife number nine came along. She was under the impression that she was wife number three but that was actually my mother who divorced him 20 years earlier.

She was extremely kind and warm. When they inevitably divorced I made contact to express my appreciation. She told me that my dad would tell her I was a criminal and a terrible person to explain why I rarely came around. Eight wives treated me poorly based on his lies. The ninth never treated me any way but kindly. She didn’t judge people based on another person’s words. She didn’t judge at all. She was truly letting her light shine among men.

Ironically my dad once stood up in a church service in front of this wife and talked about how terrible it was that churches were starting to let women speak openly in services. I’d much rather have heard what she had to say.

When I first started my freelance writing business from home I felt very alone and didn't know how it would work out. I read a lady's blog online who claimed to be making six figures and all I had to do to find out how (as if the $40,000 I spent on my BA in Journalism plus all the places I'd been published weren't enough) was give her $1,000 for her to coach me plus pay $40 a month to be a part of her message board with other writers. I wondered why if she was doing so well as a freelance writer, did she need my $1,000.

I wasn't going to spend any more money on this writing thing. The talent is there and the hard work had been done. I just needed guidance from someone who'd gone the freelance route. I started to correspond with a guy from one of the companies I contract through and we became friends.

He's sat up many late nights getting me out of jams before deadlines, teaching me the freelance ropes and introducing me to people who started sending me work. He never charged a penny. He never gets annoyed, and he even gives me advice in my personal life. He gives and he gives and when he's done with that he gives some more. So I never had to ask what his beliefs were. His light shines brightly among men. He's one of the best living examples I have ever seen of what Jesus said a Christian should act like. And he's gay. That's something to really think about if you count yourself among those who think you can't be gay and a Christian.

If everyone let their own light of kindness shine instead of protesting other's actions like Westboro Baptist Church, Kim Davis, Chick-Fil A and so many others, the world would be an awesome place. They spit at what they deem as sinners and call them vile names. But the man they claim to worship ironically was criticized in his time for eating and spending the majority of his time with sinners, prostitutes and tax collectors. Why? Because the well have no need for a doctor, but sick people do.

In Westboro Baptist's Bible, apparently their Jesus ran around with signs at the funerals of prostitutes that said "The only good whore is a dead whore." In Sunday school their children sing "Jesus hates you this I know, for Westboro tells me so."

If Jesus were on Earth today instead of 2000 years ago, I truly believe that people like Kim Davis, Westboro Baptist, and the extreme right of the Republican Party would be the very ones nailing Him to a cross.

And it would be all televised live on Fox News with Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity doing the commentary, followed shortly by another investigative report into the President's birth certificate.

God Bless America.

Kevin Hightower

Friday, August 28, 2015


For some this may be a bitter pill to swallow, and even not the most politically correct thing to say, but nevertheless it is true and needs to be addressed.

If the only time you speak up against a racial injustice is when the victim has the same color skin as yourself, then you are not fighting for a cause, you are fighting for a color and that is just as wrong as the person who committed the injustice in the first place.

If you want to truly abolish racism you need to be all in, because otherwise you might as well not even bother.

You mustn’t walk around with blinders on, just because the crime isn’t splashed all over the news, committed by a person(s) in a position of authority and/or warrants the presence of a loudmouth rabble-rouser who is more interested in lining his/her own pocket than they are with fixing the issue at hand, doesn’t mean it’s not happening and to think otherwise would be utterly foolish and irresponsible.

I know the police are a sore subject for many nowadays, and it is completely understandable all things considered, but whether you like it or not, the men/women in uniform who have sworn to protect us are not the only individuals causing these transgressions.

There are cases that don’t appear on the public’s radar, either because they won’t bring in the high ratings television and other news outlets crave or because they aren’t your “typical” acts of racism if you will.

We are lead to believe that the only true form of racism is white on black, but obviously we know that belief is fallacious, because racism doesn’t discriminate against any one particular race or another.

I won't pretend to know what it's like to be black in America, but also don't speculate that because I am white I have lived the so-called "perfect" life without a care in the world, because what you may find out could surprise you.

I have lived in many less than desirable areas growing up, experienced racism (not reverse racism, because racism is racism) firsthand many times, so don’t assume that I “don’t understand” as I hear many people say in regards to this matter.

What I endured was not an isolated case, I know that without a shadow of a doubt that I was not the only white person to ever experience these things, there are many similar situations out there regardless if you choose to acknowledge it or not.

Does it not matter that it was black on white instead of the reverse?

If that's how you think then you're just as ignorant as those who choose to hate for no other reason than the color of one’s skin, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

I am not trying to muddy the waters here, or take anything away from the plights we are currently facing as a country, I only want people to be aware of the bigger picture, to comprehend that there is more to the problem than what lies on the surface.

We need to stop separating ourselves by color and stand together against these atrocities as one, which is if we ever hope to stop the madness once and for all and to make our world a better place for all those involved.

We are all brothers and sisters, regardless of the color of our skin, so stop thinking separation and start togetherness!

We are only as strong as our weakest link, so we need to stop tearing each other down and start lifting them up, helping them survive this cruel world of ours.

This is not a cry me a river piece, I am not oblivious to the fact that some races have to endure this unfortunate burden more than others, I just want it known that it isn’t all as one-sided and skewed as some would lead you to believe. 

Now some people may not believe it is possible to be racist against whites, they will say that whites can only experience prejudice and not racism due to their overall standings in society.

Basically saying that the white individuals who beat Rodney King were racist, but the black individuals who beat Reginald Denny were prejudice, which I personally think is completely ridiculous, but what do I know.

The bottom line is this, regardless of what you call it, hate is still hate, and shouldn’t be tolerated by any race, period.

We can either continue to fight with each other , or for each other, we can continue to make excuses why things are the way they are, or we can do what needs to be done to fix it.

Not all whites are racists, and not all minorities are victims.  


Friday, August 7, 2015

“(Republican) Party Over Here”

The first GOP debate for the Republican Presidential race 2016 is in the record books, and if you ask me, all it did was further strengthen the stereotype that most Republicans are nothing more than white Christian males who want to do what’s best for their God, and not their country.
Now of course this time we did have a wild card thrown into the mix, the one and only Donald Trump, as if you didn’t already know.

Who made this feel more like a big time wrestling event rather than a GOP debate, a very mild verbal smackdown if you will, but I’m sure as long as it brought in viewers the party didn’t mind at all.

Things started off pretty basic, questions about immigration, spending and all the other traditional topics, but then it got crazy, as if a tiny car pulled up and a bunch of clowns got out.

The issue of abortion came up, and if you ask me, a bunch of men sitting around discussing ‪abortion is freaking ridiculous, they should stick to discussing things they are familiar with, like prostate exams and having sword fights with their buddies at the urinal.

Stop trying to tell women how to live their lives, or in this case possibly not live their lives, all to avoid her not having an abortion, do you realize how crazy that is! 

Then out of nowhere it became church, all the candidates started talking about their God, how He saved them and what He means to them and their campaigns. 

I could only imagine the grimace on His face when His name was brought into all this madness.

I consider myself a Christian, but God isn’t running for President, thus His feelings on the issues, as if any of these fools really speak for Him, don’t matter and only stand to make the candidates look like a bunch of bible thumpers who are planning on running the country in accordance to what their God believes and not what’s best for the people.

We all know how dangerous that can be, and I guess these boys don’t believe in separation of church and state, not hating on anyone, just stating the obvious.

The “elephant” (pardon the pun) in the room, at least in my observation, is that the Republicans are trying way too hard to be hip and cool. 

They are trying to pull a Bill Clinton, but unfortunately it is as awkward as a father going through a midlife crisis who is trying to hang with his teenage son’s friends at the club.

The two things I took away from this debate were that first, the Republicans seem deathly afraid of Hillary Clinton, Mrs. President if you’re a Republican, because all they did was talk a whole lot of crap about her as to prove they aren’t intimidated by her.

It kind of felt like a bunch of boys on the schoolyard poking fun at this one girl, but not because she had cooties or anything like that, but more so because they wanted to be her, or maybe even be with her. **wink, wink**

Secondly, I may not be a big fan of his, but from start to finish Donald Trump seemed like he was being truthfully with his answers and statements (I know an honest politician what an oxymoron), but at least to me that’s the way it seemed. 

Who knows, maybe he’s a better politician than I realize and he’s just pulling the wool over my eyes, but only time, and his actions, will tell that for sure. 

Finally, before all you Republicans start seeing “red” (pardon the pun **again**), thinking I’m attacking your precious party. 

Relax and know that I personally think that all, which means both Democrats and Republicans, are crooks and only out for the party they choose to align themselves with.

To me, voting day comes down to the lesser of two evils; the individual who I think would do less harm to our country out of those candidates who are running.

Considering that this is just the first debate, and knowing politics the way I do, I’m sure things are just going to get crazier and a whole lot more entertaining, so I have no doubt I’ll be speaking on this topic much more in the days to come.

Now back to your regularly schedule program.


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

“Our World”

I don't want to be a grown-up; I want to be a kid again, and not because I want to play with my favorite toy(s) and/or relive fond past memories of when I was child, but rather because this world of ours seems so very bleak and miserable, and only getting worse with every passing day.

When we were younger the scariest thing we had to worry about was the monster under our bed or in the closet, and no matter what our imagination conjured up, it was nothing as fierce as the real-life monsters who we share this planet with today.

Maybe things were just as bad back then, as they say ignorance is bliss, but without a doubt the warm embrace of a parent and/or loved one would chase away any evil that dared to show its face, or at least that’s what we believed and that thought alone kept us comforted and complacent.

Now however, there is no shelter that simple, unfortunately it is almost impossible to shield yourself from every beast that rears its ugly head, from every danger that shows up on the radar and every attack that shows up on our front door step.

There are terrorist attacks, computer hacks and everywhere you look there is some form of hate running rampant, and that’s only some of the horrors that play out on the stage where we perform the show called life, hoping that one day the curtain will close putting an end to all the nightmares.

We still play make-believe, but no longer are we playing house and/or fighting crime as our favorite superhero.

We now act as if we see the glass as half full and/or replace negative thoughts with positive ones, that all the chaos around us will somehow disappear leaving us as happy as a kid on the last day of school, but deep down we all know that’s not accurate.

We create religions and cliques (political, social status, etc), anything to help us make this journey somewhat easier, a little more tolerable and not as frightening as if we were to go about it on our own, a false sense of security if you will.

We keep ourselves constantly medicated, whether it is by drugs, alcohol or just about anything else that will keep our minds satisfied long enough to allow us to escape, even if only for a brief moment, the brutality that is the world we know.

Our world is a take no prisoners kind of world, it doesn’t care how you feel, what you believe and/or how you think things should be done, it will use you up and toss you aside and never think twice about it.

I’m not saying that trying to manage this world of ours is hopeless and/or not worth it, not by any means, I only want you to be aware of your surroundings and not proceed with the mindset that everything is well and that we are safe.

Some would say that I am being pessimistic or even cynical, but the brunt of it is that I’m looking at life without the blinders on, without the rose-colored glasses that are passed around like 3D glasses at the theater as soon as we are old enough to truly understand what is happening around us, and I’m finally seeing it for how it is.

The shroud of misdirection has been removed from my eyes; I am now able to see things for what they truly are, false promises, phony philosophies and sugar coated dreams that are really just nightmares in disguise.

I am aware that there are some righteous and upstanding people amongst us, but for the most part they are overshadowed by the bad in this world, because either they don’t speak loud enough to have their voices heard or because their actions aren’t as boisterous as those of their dark counterparts, either way it would seem that evil is winning the war for our souls.

It’s a battlefield out there my friends, not a walk in the park by any means, so do what you need to do to survive the best way you know how to, and I wish you the best of luck on your voyage.

For the record, I am not against having hope and/or finding a crutch (if you will) to help you make it through this cruel world of ours, actually I believe it's absolutely necessary, that is if you don't wish to become one of the evils yourself.

I just know that knowledge is power, and knowing exactly what you're facing will only help us to beat it, to make it to the mountain top, if that makes sense?

Am I having a bad day, or are the scales of justice really tipped in favor of love, hope and positivity, or is this really the harsh reality that we all hide from and pretend doesn’t exist?

I guess the answer to that question all depends on the prospective and mindset of the individual who is being asked.


Sunday, May 31, 2015

“TLC: The Lunatic Channel”

TLC, The Learning Channel?

I’m not really sure what one is supposed to be “learning” while watching the nonsense that this network broadcasts, other than the fact that the more outside of the realm of a normal health family you are, the better your chances that you will earn a nice fat contract by letting them display you and all your madness to the masses like some sort of circus sideshow.

First there was Honey Boo Boo, the poor child who was paraded around like a show dog and made to spit humorous remarks like this precious gem, “I’m Honey Boo Boo Child” on command like a trained (drunk) seal.

Her loving mother felt it was in her child’s best interest to keep her hopped up on caffeine and as plump as a Thanksgiving Day turkey for the good of the show, while she spends her time dating a known child molester.

I’m not Miss Cleo or anything, but I can clearly see that there’s not going to be any “World’s Greatest Mom” awards on her mantle anytime soon, and any that do happen to show up will be as undeserved as Milli Vanilli’s Grammy.

Now we have the Duggars, who look at birth control the same way they view a cancellation notice from the network, the more kids the better the ratings, so once the baby odometer stops moving so do those paychecks and they’re having no part of that.

Their devout Independent Baptists beliefs teach them to avoid kissing and sexual contact until marriage, that is unless they are your sisters, then have at them like they were a nice juicy steak and you a famished wild animal.

If you’re fortunate enough to be born a male in this family you’re golden, but if you are one of the unlucky few to be born with two X chromosomes, or as the Duggars call it “two strikes against you”, one more and you’re out, so there will be no pressing charges against your brothers and/or standing up for yourself.

The Honey Boo Boo atrocity has thankfully already been canceled due to her darling mother’s antics, but for some crazy reason 19 Kids & Counting has not, why hasn’t TLC pulled the plug on this train wreck as soon as they learned of the wrong doings?

What has to happen before these networks are proactive rather than reactive, is it going to take an all-out massacre, where one of their so-called “stars” goes all Chris Benoit before they do what needs to be done?

The FCC lost their shit when Janet Jackson showed her nipple at the Superbowl halftime show, but why don’t they do something about reality television, like require background checks and implement an age restriction similar to that of alcohol and tobacco for all cast members?

The unfortunate bottom line is this, just like with everything else in our world; it’s all about the almighty dollar and nothing else, including the health and welfare of all those involved.

Needless to say that most of the programs aired on this network, along with many others for sure, are complete nonsense, totally ridiculous and are doing more to harm our society than they are to help it.

I don’t normally get upset about the garbage I find on TV, mainly because it’s typically grown people doing stupid things for a quick buck, but in the case of TLC it is innocent children who are being exploited and put in harm’s way all for the sake of ratings.

I urge you to contact TLC’s parent company (link below) and speak your mind, stand up for those who can’t do it themselves.

Well there you have it, my thoughts on the matter, and if you agree with me great, but if you don’t then may I recommend that you find yourself a real friendly psychiatrist with access to a prescription pad to snuggle up with.